Xiaolin Showdown Porn Story: Ask the Heylin Side Chapter 23
Akira: *appears wearing Naruto ANBU clothes* Uh… Hello… *sweatdropsand takes them off* Sorry… I was on a mission…. in Naruto Fanfiction. Heh… Lets begin!
(shows up in a pink frilly dress) My friend Ali accidently sent me to the ying yang world with only the ying yo yo. It was fun…oh! This is my friend Ali…Say hi Ali. Ali:HI! HI! HI! OH SHINNY! sorry. she’s ADHD and skipped her medicine. She here to give you a lecture on vegetarians, vegans, global warming, and just going green. I’m now totally for peace and goodness. (a 24 hour long lecture by Ali ensues with many digressions such as “Oh! Shinny!” babbleing, tripping, swahili, and her just staring off into space.) -Mikomi
Akira: Um, hi… Ali?
Ali:…And that’s how you make a vegan meal. You know vegan chocolate tastes bad. DON’T EAT THE CUTE LITTLE ANIMALS! OH!! WHAT’S THIS! (holds up the ying yo yo and starts playing with it.) Ali you should ask before you play with other peoples toys.(yo yo hits me and I come back out normal in jeans and a dragon t-shirt.) What the hell?!?!? Ali! I told you NOT to play with the yo yo! Ali:But…it was shinny… Me: Akira, you said I could use the cats this time right. I’m gonna need them for a minute. Don’t worry I’ll be back to deliver threats. -Mikomi
Akira: Okay…
(The cats and I chase Ali into a room and the only thing you can hear is a high pitched screaming, cats and some loud thuds.) Me:Ok. I’m back. That was refreshing. Hm. Well you guys are lucky. Hurting Ali has used up all my violence for now,or most of it at least. Chase, we can start my training with a sparing match. Then you can teach me some of your Tai Chi. -Mikomi
Chase: All right. Right after the chapter is finished we will train.
All guys must watch Twilight until they know it by heart. The girls can watch Catwoman with me. -Mikomi
Akira:… you like Catwoman? hn… Twilight’s cool though the book is way better. What’s your favorite book?
Akira? Aren’t you a little young to be dating a 19 year old? -Mikomi
Akira: *glares* Okay, let’s get this straight. I am the character of the author, not the author. More like a … better… version. Sometimes I unintentionally say what she was meant to. She is 13. I am 17.
HEY! LOOK! The humping dog from the first chapter I was in is back! Everyone run! Look it brought a friend! It’s the crazy cat that attacked me when I was playing chess when I was ten! That’s a good reason to run. I think I’m going to add a cobra to the mix and see what happens. hmm. Think I’ll just stand back and threaten with jungle cats for now. -Mikomi
Everyone: o.o *RUNS*
I’m back. (‘o’) (::) COOKIE! lol. Anyway. I want Kimiko to give every one hugs. –SnapeIsMyEscape-
Akira: Hi!
Kimiko: Everyone? Even people like… Jack?
Akira: Yep.
Kimiko: … *hugs everyone*
Yay! I forgot to put down Alice…I honestly think that the movie sucked. The books are way better. And they made the first two or three chapters into the first ten minutes, and Jacob appeared too often. -Kattsumi-zhao Yamamoto
Akira: I definitely agree the books were waaay better. Do you not like Jacob?
Everyone: Team Jacob or Team Edward? -Kattsumi-zhao Yamamoto
Akira: … Team Edward…
Chase: Same.
Kimiko: Team Edward!
Omi: … what?
Jack: I don’t like Twilight!
Rai: Team Jacob, I guess.
Wuya: Team Jacob!
Anyone who says Team Edward, you have to face an actual vampire, and one that has RED eyes, not Topaz. (Red means the kind that drink human blood.) -Kattsumi-zhao Yamamoto
Akira: *blinks at attacking vampire* Hn. Mangekyou Sharingan… Amaterasu! (if anyone watches Naruto they’ll know what that was. If not… too bad! XP)
Chase: … *shoots Heylin Blast at Vampire*
Kimiko: Wudai Mars FIRE!
Anyone who says Team Jacob, well, you get a cookie!! (I am a definite Jacob fan.) -Kattsumi-zhao Yamamoto
Rai and Wuya: Yay! *eat cookie*
Akira: Have you taken the “Which Twilight Character Are You?” test? I did, and it says I’m Jasper. That really isn’t fair…How is it that I am the guy who looks like he is in pain? He only speaks as much as the others do in the THIRD book!! That is not fair… -Kattsumi-zhao Yamamoto
Akira: Nope! Where is it? And… what’s wrong with Jasper? I think he’s cool… but his actor in the movie just… REALLY sucked. Big time.
Keep writing, and Akira, you get a cookie! -Sigh- Even if you might’ve said Team Edward… -Kattsumi-zhao Yamamoto
Akira: Heh… you’re Team Jacob then, I assume?
Dang it, Akira! You and your loopholes XD. Jack: You’re allowed near clowns again. Apparently, some people don’t care about your fear. -BatTitan
Jack: *gasp* NOOOOO!!!
Chase: No, I was just curious if there was a way to reverse the effects. Can I look into it and get back to you? (evil grin) Oh, and I dare you to attack everyone with a Jigglypuff. You and Akira can stay awake. -BatTitan
Chase: …why would you want to know anyway? *twitches* with this pink…. thing? Ugh, fine. Jigglypuff, attack.
Jigglypuff: Jii galyy puff jiga lllyyy puff… jii galy puff jiga llyyy….
Everyone: *Falls Asleep*
Jigglypuff: *puffs up angrily and draws on everyone*
Omi: I’m very glad to see you have learned a lot. Well done with your prank! I am very proud of you (hugs). Let’s move on to bigger things…world domination (cough) I mean, world peace. -BatTitan
Omi: Oh yes. World peace is most wonderful. *smiles* may I have another hug?
Raimundo: Can I call you Bird-Boy now? LOL nice to see you at the receiving end of a prank for a change. -BatTitan
Raimundo: *growls* NO! Quit making fun of me!
Oh, I forgot to mention this in my letter, Akira. I actually started writing when I was 11, but I began posting my works on Fanfiction when was 13. I’m turning 15 in May, so now I feel kind of old XD. -BatTitan
Akira: Oh. It’s ok, you’re not. XD
SUPER-FANTASTIC-AMAZING-CHAPTER,AGAIN! I am obsessed with this story,it`s SO frickin funny! Okay,I thought of some stuff this time…! -XxX-CURLY-WURLY-XxX
Akira: Thank you!!!
Wassup Heylin,and Xiaolin, peoples? Last time i wuz a little mean,but THIS time…i wanna kick the evilness up a notch! (sawry?) *evil grin* Chase,i demand that you put on a banana costume and sing the,”Peanut Butter Jelly Time!” song! -XxX-CURLY-WURLY-XxX
Chase: *twitches* must I?
Mikomi: Kitties!!
Chase: *raises eyebrow* you mean to use my warriors against me?
Mikomi: Uh…
Chase: *sighs* whatever… this will be humiliating… *puts on banana costume and sings peanut Butter and Jelly theme song*
Okay,now,Kimiko dress up as a grape. (There is no reason for that really…just my amusement!) -XxX-CURLY-WURLY-XxX
Kimiko: …. a GRAPE? *dresses up as a grape*
Hannibal Bean(or Cannibal Soy Bean,he he) will you bake everyone cookies? (including me? ^^) -XxX-CURLY-WURLY-XxX
Hannibal: WHAT! No!
Mikomi: Kitties!
Hannibal: Uh oh. Um- fine… *hops away*
Oh,and there BETTER NOT BE POISON in my,Akiras,Chases,Dojos, Raimundo or Omis cookies either! (The rest…meh,i dont really care…) -XxX-CURLY-WURLY-XxX
Hannibal: Damn it…
Akira: *glares* you were going to poison them?!
So,Wuya…i guess ur kinda cool,but,that doesn`t necessarily mean i LIKE you. So…i DEMAND u get trapped in another puzzle box! (not for eternity…although that WOULD get rid of the pain in Chases ass…)For about…i dunno…let Chase decide! -XxX-CURLY-WURLY-XxX
Wuya: I have to be trapped in a puzzle box again? Damn it! *gets sucked into puzzle box*
Akira: lol
Dojo…hm…i want you to eat CAKE! (super-mega-tasty-delicious CAKE!) -XxX-CURLY-WURLY-XxX
Dojo: Okay! *eats* mmm, this is a good cake! You’re really nice to give me sumthin’ like this!
Well,that`s all…for now…MUWAHAHAHA! Buh-bye! Keep it up Akira! lolx -XxX-CURLY-WURLY-XxX
Akira: Bye!!!
FIRST OFF CAN I JUST SAY I LOVE THIS STORY AND RAI/KIM RULES! -girls rule!
Akira: Okay…
RAI- beat up jack while Akira sing long live rai/kim down with jack/kim -girls rule!
Rai: All right! *starts beating up Jack*
Akira: I have to…. sing…? *mutters* Fine… *sings* Long live rai/kim, down with jack/kim…?
BOYS- who is the hottest girl in the show(not including dyris cause she sucks!) -girls rule!
Akira: *blinks* Arent there only like three girls in the show?
Boys: *all say different names*
rai,jack and chase: fight each other for kimikos love(course rai is gonna win) -random
Akira: Why is Rai gonna win?
Chase: Why would I even WANT her love?
clay: read fatal attraction 1,2 and 3 -random
Clay: … All right… *reads* hey… Why am I evil in those stories?!
everybody: read fatal attraction 1,2 and 3 what do u think -random
Kimiko: … Uh… they’re… kinda weird…
Rai: They have me getting together with Kimiko, But Clay turns evil! Not cool.
Hello!! Im back my beautiful peoples!! Ive realized ive made a huge mistake!! -Life’sNoBedOfRoses
Akira: *blinks* what is it?
i didnt make you xiaolin warriors suffer enough! MWAHAHA!! Now i want you all to rip an organ out of each other every time someone uses your name. So if someone said kimiko’s name..well she’s loose an organ…heheheh… -Life’sNoBedOfRoses
Akira: XD funny… but what happens when they have no more organs…
Xiaolin Warriors: noooo…. *start ripping each others organs out* Owowowowowow….
oh what fun!! Well hn…im just going to sit back and watch the show now, Chao beautiful kids.~oh and Akira…Excellent writing, i enjoyed it very much, your cruel nature is really entertaining… -Life’sNoBedOfRoses
Akira: *raises eybrow* Cruel? Me? Where ever did you get that idea?
(laughs hystarically) Akira, you’re splitting my sides, this was hilarious! Thank you for letting me borrow the cats, u 2. -Kumerai-sama
Akira: XD really?
I’m running out of ideas for torture, let’s see… aha! Jack, you will officially hate me after this. Mwahahahaha! -Kumerai-sama
Akira: Oh Noooo!!!! The torture must continue!! DX
Jack, you are to dance like a complete moron, while only wearing boxers, you are also to dedicate the dance to Wuya, as an appreciation (did i spell it right?) of love. Everyone can laugh at him while he’s doing it. -Kumerai-sama
Jack: *turns red but takes off most of clothes and starts dancing*
Everyone: *Laughs a lott*
Raimundo, you are welcome for the favor I did for you. -Kumerai-sama
Raimundo: Oh…
HRB, why are you so cocky? Honestly,… I think it’s more uncool than Jack, here. -Kumerai-sama
HRB: Because, I am the best evil villain in the show!
Akira: … *whispers so everyone but HRB can hear* No he’s not…
Akira, Chase, do you honestly love each other? Tell the truth, or Wuya and HRB, get to kick your sorry cans. -Kumerai-sama
Akira&Chase: Yes.
Chase, are there other elements of the Xiaolin beside wind, fire, earth, and water? I would ask Guan, but I hate him as much as you do. -Kumerai-sama
Chase: No there are not.
Akira: Are you sure?
Chase: Unless you count the elements like ice…
Also, Chase,… I’m sorry, but I dare you to remain on the Xiaolin side for the rest of the chapter, and become Guan’s friend again. All for now, ttyl. -Kumerai-sama
Chase: What!
Akira: …. but Chase’s Xiaolin clothes suck.
Chase: I know… I can’t believe I actually wore that….
Akira: Oh well… you still have to do it… I guess.
Chase: Damn… *turns Xiaolin*
(Runs in crying, flings arms around Rai) WHA! -DuncanCourtney4Ever
Rai: What happened?!
(to Rai, still crying) I-i-it’s n-not fair wh-what they (motions to pretty much everyone in the room) say about YOU! -DuncanCourtney4Ever
Rai: *blinks* wait… what? What did they say?
(still crying) They say, they say, th-that it’s too EASY to control wind, b-but they d-don’t realize, our element has a mind of i-it’s own! -DuncanCourtney4Ever
Rai: WHAT! It so is not easy! *stops* Wait a minute… what do you mean, OUR element?
(STILL crying) They s-say that you’ll “undoubtedly” betray t-them again! T-they have no faith in y-y-you! -DuncanCourtney4Ever
Rai: What! *turns around* I’d never do that, guys!
Omi: But we did not…
Rai: I can’t believe you’d say that about me!
Clay: Pardner, we never-
Rai: I thought we were friends!
Kimiko: Rai, we never said that stuff about you!
Rai: How COULD you??
WHA! (Dusknoir glides into room) Dusknoir: Shadow ball. (uses, on people I motioned to) -DuncanCourtney4Ever
Everyone: Ahh!!! *runs from Shadow ball*
Akira: … epic fail… you missed. XDD jk.
This is too funny. I love it. My Q’s is for Jack Spicer, Evil Genius. ( you are too old, and super cool to have boy in your title.) -loser by choice
Jack: Really you think I’m cool??
#1! Why do you lie!? I happened to have seen in several episodes that you in fact wear very cute skull printed boxers. Not breifs. Why you lie you lair! -loser by choice
Jack: *glares* I DID NOT LIE… I like wearing briefs better than boxers. It doesn’t mean I never wear boxers!
#2 What is your fav flavor of pudding? -loser by choice
Jack: CHOCOLATE PUDDING!
#3 May I have a kiss from the uber awesome Jack Spicer, Evil Genius? -loser by choice
Jack: Sure! *kisses you on cheek*
#4 Can I have a Jack Bot to do my bidding… among other things? -blushes and looks away- -loser by choice
Jack: Yeah, sure. I have a ton of ’em… *hands you a Jack-bot*
Im back to answer your question dear akira, no-of course chase wouldn’t have beaten you , in fact he’d epic phail. And of course i knew he;d never hurt you. He had no choice really. Now…where is Chase? -~lifesnobedofroses
Chase: …crap? *poofs*
Akira: … okay… Chase… I think you should come back… I’m sure this reviewer won’t kill you or anything…. maybe…
Chase: *comes bck*
Oh there you are!! Go get me some pudding cups! -~lifesnobedofroses
Chase:……. fine…. *gets you pudding cups*
Now with these pudding cups…I will eat them in front of Jack and he can’t have any! HAAHAHA! -~lifesnobedofroses
Jack: noo!! *watches you eat pudding cups sadly*
Now…everyone!! do the clown dance! . wait a minute…theres not such thing as a clown dance… feh… How about lets all eat some special homemade soup!! I made it myself *smiles innocently* -~lifesnobedofroses
Akira: …. is it poisoned?
Everyone: …. *looks at soup warily*
Im not leaving till you all eat it. If you dont eat it …ill harass you with my magical television set! It has the power to hypnotize you into buying whatever is tells you to! |MWAHAHA! -~lifesnobedofroses
Everyone: *gasps* NOOO!! *eat soup*
…hn there’s something odd here… oh yes , i must exercise my right as Chases owner to use him as i will…yes… hm… oh right ..Chase, i am giving you permission to do whatever the heck you feel like doing despite what anyone else says ..unless of course Akira-dear tells you to do it… -~lifesnobedofroses
Chase: XD
and now i sense my evilness is fading. In fear of becoming a naggy wannabe, i shall leave for now… *eyes xiaolin wearily* ill be back you know. -~lifesnobedofroses
Akira: … Fading evilness??? o no…
shizzle i almost forgot(again)..Jack…do something useful this chapter. Be a strong independent man for once… this entire chapter!! oh and also ..if it hasn’t already been done, I believe id like wuya to destroy omi’s girl books and beat the crap out of him so hard he forgets everything he’s done or learned while he’s had that book. -~lifesnobedofroses
Jack: I am one!
Akira: … it’s already been done. XD Omi’s sexist girl books are alllllll gone.
Chase, get jack some pudding cups. I feel guilty . Good bye everyone. Merry Deathmas!! -~lifesnobedofroses
Chase:…. *gets Jack Pudding cups*
Jack: Yay! *eats pudding happily*
Hey,… This is funny, Akira. I’m a new reviewer,… so don’t bark at me! Anyway, Akira,… who is your favorite male character? -Iwadate
Akira: CHASE! Obviously. If you couldn’t tell that from reading this story…
Whoever you chose,… you get to start dating him. -Iwadate
Akira: XD
Jack, YOU SUCK!! I’M SURPRISED YOU HAVEN’T BEEN MAULED FOR SUCKING THIS BADLY!! Anyway,… like said: you suck at being evil. Start training, and stop BEING SUCH A BABY! I’M SERIOUS, ASHLEY BEATS YOU BY A LAND SIDE. Plus, she’s my second least favorite villain, which puts you at dead last. -Iwadate
Jack: I DO NOT SUCK!
Ashley: Why am I your second least favorite?
Akira: … so you like Jack more than… I don’t know… Cyclops? o.o
All who agree with me about Spicer,… Say I. Also, tell everyone why you think so. Don’t make it simple,.. I prefer detail. (just think, you Heylin warriors might get a good laugh out of this.) -Iwadate
Akira: … um… well I don’t think he’s the WORST villain, per se, but he does suck at being evil.
Jack: Hey!
Akira: He doesn’t even do anything really evil… he says he wants to take over the world but doesn’t actually do it… his robots get their BUTTS KICKED… does that sound like a good evil villain to you?
Chase: He is insignificant in the map of evil…
HRB: Watch the first episode with me in it, and you’ll see why.
HRB,… hn, you’re okay,… here’s the Silver Manta ray. (don’t care if it’s useful or not) -Iwadate
HRB: …
Omi: How… did you obtain that Shen Gong Wu? It was in our vault…
Chase who do you think, out of every girl,… including Akira, which one is the Sexiest. I know Tykume,… my friend already asked you this, but I think she wanted to hear out of all of them. See you next time! -Iwadate
Chase:Then… Akira. XD
Yo. Hey Akira, Chase, Rai, and Kimomo, since all of u guys are awesome and amazing in every single way possible, here is 9,9,9,9,9,9,9,9,9,9 dollars…yeah…my family and me are kinda rich…heh. Listen, if u guys need anything, just let me know, k? -Gina
Akira: o.o that’s a looot of 9’s
Chase: ……
Rai: Woah! Awesome! That’s so much money!
Kimiko: Yeah…
Akira: Hn… Well, that’s all! *puts ANBU stuff back on* Gotta go… and keep writing my Naruto Crossover fic. It’s called Magic Shinobi if anyone’s interested…. since my other stories are taking a while to be updated.
Well, Sayonara… *makes Hitsuji hand seal and disappears in a poof of smoke*